Lou Malnati’s — River North Review & Bathroom Guide
Chicago, Illinois
Pizza? Heavy hitter. Restroom? Needed more support. Still, I respect the institution.
Source published July 2026
First-hand Shooki editorial
Shooki’s Review of Lou Malnati’s — River North
By Shooki · Source published July 2026
Pizza? Heavy hitter. Restroom? Needed more support. Still, I respect the institution.
You knew I couldn’t come to Chicago and not stop for deep dish.
That would be disrespectful.
Now, I don’t mean to start a war here, but I have to be honest with my people: my allegiance still sits with Giordano’s.
Sorry. That’s just where my heart is.
But Lou Malnati’s is still Lou Malnati’s. A Chicago institution. A place built on butter crust, heavy cheese, rich tomato sauce, and pizzas that look less like dinner and more like a construction project.
This is not food for the lighthearted.
This is not “I’m on a diet” food.
This is pizza for Olympic lifters trying to hit a calorie goal before competition. Thick, heavy, beautiful, dangerous. The kind of meal that makes you question whether you should walk back to the hotel or call for help.
And if you’ve never had real Chicago deep dish before, you owe it to yourself to do it at least once.
River North gets slammed, and you can feel it. Tourists, locals, families, people trying to check the Chicago pizza box before heading back to wherever they came from. The place moves a lot of bodies.
Best for
- Real Chicago deep dish at a Chicago institution
- Butter crust, heavy cheese and rich tomato sauce
- Thick, heavy, beautiful, dangerous pizza
Less ideal for
- Light eating or “I’m on a diet” food
- Restroom capacity and cleanliness when River North is busy
The Shooki Bathroom Review
First-party restroom record · Source published July 2026
Restroom verdict
Capacity was the big issue during my River North visit, and cleanliness followed. Not the worst restroom I’ve seen, but for a place this busy, it didn’t hold up. 3/10.
- Restroom inventory
- 1 reviewed area — 1 shared men’s restroom and 1 women’s restroom; total venue room count unknown
- Review coverage
- I reported two restrooms, one male and one female. Photos establish the men’s room via the M door sign and show one urinal, one toilet stall, one basin, soap, paper towel and toilet paper dispensers, and grab rails. The women’s interior, complete building inventory, stall lock operation and full fixture totals beyond the photographs were not verified.
- Room reviewed
- One shared men’s restroom from my Lou Malnati’s River North visit
- Accessibility status
- Unknown · My visit raised accessibility concerns. Grab rails appear in the men’s stall, but full routes, measurements and accessibility compliance were not verified.
- Why this score
- Capacity and cleanliness hurt the score during my visit. I also described the reviewed restroom as not accessible. 3/10.
- Layout
- My caption reports two restrooms — male and female. I reviewed the men’s room shown in the selected photos; the women’s interior was not reviewed.
- Capacity
- I reported two restrooms, male and female, and found capacity inadequate during my busy River North visit. Complete fixture totals were not recorded.
Which brings me to the restroom.
They have two restrooms — male and female.
And for a place this busy, that just isn’t enough.
Capacity was the big issue here. When that many people are moving through a restaurant, two restrooms start fighting a losing battle. And once capacity becomes a problem, cleanliness usually follows.
That’s what happened here.
Not the worst restroom I’ve seen. Not even close. But for a restaurant this popular, in a location this busy, it just didn’t hold up. Not accessible either.